by: Charish
So, you're married, you've tied the knot, , , are linked to the old ball and chain! That doesn't mean that it has to be down hill from there!
There are key elements in keeping your spouse happy.
The first I dare say, would have to be your physically intimate connection with each other, bound by trust of course.
Both partners owe it to each other to take care of their physical appearance throughout the marriage. After all, physical intimacy is based on not just your mutual love for each other, but also on your continued physical attraction to each other.
Men: Being visual creatures are drawn to the fantasy fed to the eyes. You want to be that for your spouse! If not, you need to learn to be so! Keep him guessing throughout your lives together. He'll never grow tired of your playfulness, and willingness to be visually pleasing to him.
Women: Being mostly mental, are put in the mood to be physical primarily by what their spouse says to them, how he makes her feel (sexy, beautiful, desirable, etc.) Yes, the visual comes into play a bit, but physical touch, and verbal feedback from their spouse is vital. You (the husband) want to make sure to never let your wife's efforts to please you go un-noticed, by giving her honest compliments. Trust me, women love attention, and they love getting compliments (especially from the love of their life!). Remember this throughout your lives together, and you'll never get the excuse, "Not tonight hunny, I have a headache."
FOR MEN: (How to keep her interested in you for the rest of your marriage)
1. Be a man! By this, I mean: be responsible, accountable, reliable, hard-working, loyal, honest, decisive, etc. Women want their husband to be someone she can look up to, and respect. This makes her feel safe, , and if she feels safe with you, and protected by you, she will always love you, and want to please you.
2. Take Care Of Yourself: (both physically, and mentally) Just as you want your wife to take care of her appearance, there should be no double standard. Regularly maintain good grooming habits, stay physically active, and try to maintain a healthy weight (you don't have to be a model), just make the most of what you've got. Do these things for yourself of course, but for your wife as well. You want her to be proud of you don't you?
3. Don't allow your wife to feel overwhelmed (when you can do something about it): In today's society, it's common for both spouses to work outside the home. Still some wives, will be able to (and choose to) be stay at home mom's when a family is begun. Either way, both spouses ARE working! Learn to be in tune to your wife's body language, and verbal cues. If you notice that she's paying less attention to you, , , don't feel sorry for yourself. Instead, find ways that you can help ease her burden, reduce her stress levels, by helping out when and where possible. Doing so, will likely free her up to have more time for herself, , , which in turn equals (a refreshing break much needed), , which in turn equals more time you YOU!
4. Be affectionate, and compliment your wife: not just once in a while, REGULARLY: Women are physical creatures. We need compliments, hugs, kisses, love bites, and playful touch too! Doing these things to your wife (especially the affection) on a daily basis will make her feel loved, wanted, attractive, and appreciated by you. All things that eventually lead to exactly what YOU want as a man, and more often. Need I say more?
5. Be Willing To Play: I'm referring to foreplay of course. Men may not need this as much as women (or at all), , , but for women, all things physical are greatly enhanced by the path that leads to the door. You can turn the heat up by sending her sexy, suggestive texts during the day while you're at work. Text her and tell her how much you want her, , and that you were thinking about what you two are going to do later together ;) ~ When in a public place with her, sneak up behind her and whisper something like "I want you so bad right now!" in her ear. Trust me the thought will linger in her mind, , , , , , , until it can come to fruition later. KISS HER and often! Surprise her with a passionate kiss, , , perhaps at times when taking things further, may not be possible, or appropriate. This too will linger in her mind, , and she'll want more later when it can be taken further! When behind closed doors ~ allow her to have fun with you, play games (whatever you're both mutually into), , , perhaps body paint, or slow dancing together (while kissing). Pretty much whatever allows both of you to explore the joys of physical touch.
FOR WOMEN: (How to keep him interested in you for the rest of your marriage)
1. Be A Lady: Most men are drawn to the feminine. This doesn't mean that you have to be a weak pansy! It just means that you have to use your natural graces, and remember them when interacting with your husband (above all men). Women can be strong, yet, maintain grace, and softness. Whether you like it or not, , , this is what men are most attracted to. So, if you want to keep his attention for the long-run in your lives together, , always be the softness in his life, , , because that is what he lacks. Men and women are opposites, , that's why we are attracted to each other. Men represent bold strength and protection to us, , , while we represent soft, restfulness, and comfort to them. Men don't necessarily want to be mothered by us, , , but they do want to find solitude, and comfort in our presence, and in our arms.
(Note: Nagging, is not a soft, feminine quality, learn to communicate in other ways if there are issues you feel need to be addressed. If your husband follows the suggestions in #1 & #3 above for husbands, there should be few issues between the two of you that can't be worked out affectively.)
2. Take Care Of Yourself: (both physically, and mentally) Just as you want your husband to take care of his appearance, there should be no double standard. Regularly maintain good grooming habits, stay physically active, and try to maintain a healthy weight (you don't have to be a model), just make the most of what you've got. Do these things for yourself of course, but for your husband as well. You want HIM to be proud of you don't you?
3. Be Helpful & Supportive: Perhaps you can tell your husband is troubled by something, stressed, or just physically tired. Men typically don't talk about their feelings, , so if he does start opening up to you about something, , it means he needs a supportive ear. Be there for him!!! Just listen to him, , and try to do so without speaking, unless he asks for your input. If he indicates that you could be of assistance to him in some way, be available to doing what it takes to help him. He may just need to vent, and feel heard. Not being there for him during such times, , can lead to him eventually seeking out other feminine comforts, , if you prove to not be there for him after years of marriage. Remember it is your softness that he finds comfort in. Be present for him.
4. Be affectionate, and regularly compliment him, & let him know you appreciate the things he does for you: not just once in a while, REGULARLY: Men don't let us know just how sensitive they really are, or how much they really like our hugs and kisses. He wants you to be affectionate (some men are not comfortable with public affection), however even little, affectionate hugs, kisses, and frequent hand-holding throughout the day will be appreciated by him. He also won't tell you that he likes it when you show appreciation for the things he does for you. Be sure to always thank him, and tell him how much you appreciate even the tiniest things he does for you. He does them because he loves you, and YOU showing that you notice & appreciate them, , is his reward, and makes him feel loved. He will also, likely not tell you that he really likes it when you compliment him on his abilities, or appearance. Tell him you think he's brilliant! Tell him you think he's sexy! He'll act as if it's not a big deal, but inside he's bursting with pride. ;)
5. Be His Fantasy: Always remember, he's a visual creature: Surprise him from time to time with some sexy lingerie. Learn the art of visual and mental tease! Doing so, will keep you in his thoughts while at work. Keep him guessing as to what you're going to do next. You don't necessarily have to "on" all the time, , but keep the element of surprise alive in your relationship for him. Have regular "date nights" with each other. This will allow the two of you to enjoy each other's company outside of the home/career life, , , and offers plenty of opportunity for stimulation both intellectual, and sexual.
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